What Jesus Probably Looked Like

Jesus's (Lord's) Prayer
Universe Is God Church Version

your name be revered.
Impose your imperial rule.
Provide use with the bread we need for the day.
Forgive our failures and mistakes to the extent
that we have forgiven the offenses of others against us.
And please don't subject us to test after test.

The Revised Serenity Prayer
Universe Is God Church Version

May the Universe grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this imperfect world
as it is, not as I would have it.

Trusting that the Universe will make all things right
if I surrender to the Universe's Rules;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and be remembered fondly
Forever after my death.

So be it.

With Apologies to Reinhold Niebuhr